


Be My Valentine, Shinji Ikari

by TangoWhiskeyman



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Romance, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 20:38:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17393315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TangoWhiskeyman/pseuds/TangoWhiskeyman
Summary: In which Shinji has the Valentine's Day blues and Rei shows a little bit of initiative. Just what will ensue on this most sacred of Hallmark holidays?





	Be My Valentine, Shinji Ikari

**Author's Note:**

> [Originally posted on FF.net](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13003045/1/Be-My-Valentine-Shinji-Ikari)

Sitting silently with his elbow rested on the kitchen table and his head held in his left hand, Shinji stared vacantly. The table was nigh clear of any contents, save for a solitary red, heart-shaped card – a Valentine's card to be specific. As the boy's eyes fell upon the card, he couldn't help the slight scowl that crossed his features. For the next few seconds he continued to glare daggers at the card before shaking his head with a sigh.

 _I shouldn't be like this,_ Shinji reasoned internally. _She was just being thoughtful… I should be appreciative. And I am… aren't I?_

'She' being one Misato Katsuragi, the boy's guardian – who filled a role not dissimilar to that of an older sister or mother. Though at times Shinji couldn't help but feel like he was the older one. What with him doing the brunt of the cooking, chores and his frequent need to scold her for her irresponsible behavior. How that woman could be so immature and carefree at home yet so intense and in-control during an angel attack was an absolute mystery to him.

Shinji knew she cared about him – even if his lack of self-worth made believing such a thing frustratingly difficult. However, he couldn't shake the lingering belief that Misato's gesture was done more out of pity or obligation as opposed to genuine affection.

The fact that it was the only card he'd received for Valentine's wasn't helping matters either. You see, the few girls who _had_ openly shown interest had long since moved on. It didn't take them long to realize that despite being an Evangelion pilot, he was still above all else, Shinji Ikari.

Timid, awkward, self-loathing Shinji Ikari.

Discounting those girls and Misato, Shinji narrowed his list of potential Valentines down to three people.

First there was Asuka; his temperamental roommate whose attitude towards Shinji mostly alternated between tolerance and outright hostility. There were rare moments where they got along – moments Shinji certainly treasured. Sadly, those moments were few and far between. She had spent the entire weekend raving over hypothetical trysts with Mr. Kaji – trysts Shinji and _very_ deep down, Asuka, both knew would always stay hypothetical.

Then there was Hikari – the kindly yet strict class-rep. Shinji wasn't surprised that he had received nothing from her; it was obvious to anyone with eyes she had it _bad_ for Suzuhara.

Last but certainly not least was the elusive First Child, Rei Ayanami. The girl continued to be a complete enigma to Shinji. Over the months he'd known her, he felt they'd reached _some_ sort of understanding, and he did cherish her as a friend. Her demeanor however, made discerning whatever feelings she potentially had for him, or anyone else for that matter, close to impossible.

_Come to think of it, I haven't seen Ayanami since Friday… you don't think…?_

Shinji slapped his forehead. Of course she wouldn't get him anything! This was Ayanami for God's sake! Even if he _were_ willing to believe she liked him enough to do such a thing, she was hardly the Valentine type. She may not have been emotionless contrary to what many people believed, but buying Valentine's gifts for a boy she liked? That was more than a little hard to believe.

 _Maybe I should've gone out with Misato, Asuka and Mr. Kaji. Probably would've been better than sulking around here all day,_ Shinji thought, releasing a long sigh before sitting up.

_Maybe some fresh air is what I need._

* * *

With bated breath, Rei Ayanami stood deathly quiet. Her eyes were fixated on the metallic door in front of her. She wasn't quite sure why, but she couldn't bring herself to ring the buzzer or so much as knock.

_This uncertainty… this hesitance… I do not understand why I feel this way…_

Grasped in her pale, delicate hands, was a blue, heart-shaped box with yellow trim. In it, an assortment of chocolates with which Rei wasn't at all familiar and something else a little more… special.

For the blue-haired girl, food was a necessity, not a delicacy. The concept of eating for enjoyment rather than sustenance was completely alien to her. Still, she _had_ read that chocolate was a customary gift on Valentine's Day. Not being one to mistrust her textbooks, she simply went along with it.

Picking out the right box of chocolates hadn't exactly been easy for her. Firstly, she had no idea what Ikari liked or what he disliked. Secondly, the color representing love, and thus the color most prevalent for all Valentine's products, was red. Oh, how she detested that color.

It reminded her of blood… her blood, Ikari's blood. Which in turn was an unpleasant reminder of the pain and misery they've both had to endure.

That, and it also reminded her of a certain… unpleasant pilot.

When her eyes caught sight of the box she would eventually purchase, she felt a tug. As if some inexplicable force was beckoning her. Rei never had an eye for aesthetics, but she could – to some degree – admire the design. It was quite elegant. Assumably the chocolate was of high quality as well, given the exorbitant price she'd paid.

It's not that Rei was cheap, mind you. She had already purchased something far more expensive on the very same day. She just had trouble understanding the point of spending excessive amounts of money on things that were not only perishable, but also unnecessary.

 _It_ _ **is**_ _a gesture of my feelings toward Ikari,_ she thought to herself. _As such, is it truly unnecessary?_

Rei subconsciously tightened the grip on the box and brought it close to her chest – almost like the girl was guarding a treasured heirloom from some unseeable threat. She'd been standing in place for nearly twenty minutes now, still woefully unable to alert whoever was home of her presence.

_Never have I had this issue. This behavior is… irrational._

Biting her lip slightly, she removed one hand from the heart-shaped box; shakily bringing it closer to the buzzer. When her index finger came within a fraction of an inch of the button, she hesitated.

 _I do not know why I am behaving this way,_ she thought. _Please, Ikari, Major Katsuragi… even Sohryu… someone open this door._

So caught up in her own inner dialogue, Rei didn't even notice the sound of the door whizzing open.

"A-Ayanami?"

* * *

Shinji did what he always did when met face-to-face with a girl, or anyone for that matter; he blushed and shyly took a few steps back. There he was, heading out for a quiet walk to take his mind off things and he's greeted by the sight of none other than Rei Ayanami. The very girl he was thinking of only moments earlier.

His eyes fell from hers and caught sight of a blue and yellow box. A _heart-shaped_ box.

_She didn't… I mean,_ _**surely** _ _, she wouldn't… would she?_

"Uh… Ayanami…"

"Ikari," she said swiftly after a nearly undetectable pause. Most wouldn't have caught it, but Shinji had learned to pick up on a few of Ayanami's subtleties. The girl brought her free hand down and returned it to the box.

"Why are you here?" Shinji asked dumbly, before kicking himself mentally. _Why'd I have to say it like that? Now she probably thinks I don't want her here!_

"N-not that I'm n-not glad you're here that is," he quickly added.

 _He is nervous_ , Rei reasoned. _As am I, strangely enough. Though his nervousness is far more… noticeable._

"It is the 14th of February, is it not?"

Shinji gulped; his blush growing ever darker. "Y-yeah…" he said.

"And unless I am mistaken, February 14th is Valentine's Day," she said, pausing slightly to gauge his reaction. Strangely enough, upon seeing his face, the color red didn't seem so distasteful to her anymore.

"From what I have read, this is a day in which boys receive gifts from girls with whom they share a close relationship." Rei lowered the box, so it was held in front of her waist. "I believe there is also a follow up day a month from now in which the roles are reversed."

"Y-yeah," Shinji said, "White Day."

"May I come in, Ikari?"

Said boy stared blankly for several seconds.

"Ikari?"

"Wha–Oh yeah! Of course, you can come in, Ayanami." Shinji stepped aside and raised his arm, gesturing for her to enter. Nodding politely, Rei entered the apartment. Shinji had to admit, it was quite impressive and also somewhat baffling how she could walk across hard floor without making a single sound.

Upon entering the living room, Shinji grew even more nervous. _Should we go to the kitchen instead?_ he silently asked himself. _There's only one couch here, I don't think it would be proper to share. Maybe I could sit on the floor or something…_

The sound of Rei easing onto one of the plush cushions of the sofa snapped Shinji out of his thoughts. After he walked closer to the girl, he prepared himself to sit down on the floor, but paused after she began to speak.

"There is space available on the couch," she explained calmly, though she felt a sense of unease as a warm sensation crept across her cheeks. The sensation was not unlike the one she had felt when Ikari told her she'd make a good wife. Or when he had cleaned her apartment simply out of the kindness of his heart. Even though she felt uneasy, the sensation was most certainly… pleasant.

"Y-you want me to s-sit next to you?" Shinji asked, his voice slightly hoarse. "Is that r-really okay?"

"Do you not wish to sit near me?" she softly asked, a subtle hint of disappointment in her own voice.

"I…" He looked into her eyes. Contrary to the seemingly expressionless look on her face, he could swear he saw a pleading look in her eyes. _Am I just seeing things that aren't there? I… I don't know…_

He looked to the blue and yellow box, now held in her lap, then back to her.

_She's here for me. Not Asuka, not Misato, but_ _**me** _ _. Would she really have a problem if I sat next to her?_

Rei continued to stare at him. As patient as she was, even she was beginning to grow somewhat antsy.

Shinji didn't offer Rei's question a vocal response. Instead, he sat down on the cushion next to Rei and gingerly placed his hands on his lap. Twisting his head around to face her, he caught glimpse of possibly the faintest smile he'd ever seen in his life. If she were any other girl, he'd be sure it was nothing, but this was _Ayanami_.

Shinji was certain.

That was _definitely_ a smile.

"M-Misato and Asuka went out with Mr. Kaji a little while ago." He didn't think Rei cared about where those two were and he was right – she couldn't care less. Still, he felt the need to break the ice a little. What better way to do so than with a bit of empty small talk?

"I don't know what to think about Misato and Mr. Kaji…" he continued, "…she's always on his case, but deep down, I think she really cares about him. I mean, why else would she agree to spend time with him?"

"People are often afraid of being true to the ones for whom they care," Rei said, surprising Shinji and even herself. She hesitated briefly before continuing. "We do not want to be hurt by these people, but by protecting ourselves from being hurt, _we_ end up hurting _them_."

Shinji's mouth went slightly agape. "I… didn't think you'd know so much about that kind of stuff."

Rei gave him a blank stare.

"I have read many textbooks."

It wasn't a funny statement by any means, but the curtness of it along with his shock from her previous comments caused Shinji to burst out laughing. Rei watched patiently as the boy proceeded to clutch his stomach and let loose some of the strangest sounds she'd ever heard emanate from a person.

_He is laughing. An auditory response to something humorous or amusing. I do not understand why he'd react to what I said in such a way._

"Was what I said humorous?"

The boy's laughter took a few more seconds to die down. Wiping a tear from his eye, he looked to her with a slightly guilty expression. "No, not really," he let out a slight chuckle, "it was just the timing is all. Sometimes things that aren't really funny seem funny in the right context."

"Humor is certainly… complicated."

"I guess it kind of is…" Shinji smiled softly, then realization struck, "…hey, haven't we gotten a little sidetracked here?"

Rei tilted her head slightly, then widened her eyes. The Valentine! "I… wanted to express my gratitude to you, Ikari. Today seemed appropriate."

_Her… gratitude?_

"You have done more for me than… even the Commander."

Shinji grimaced at the mention of his estranged father. Partially due to the negative feelings he harbored against the man, but also in remembrance of Rei slapping him for voicing those feelings. As much as the boy loathed his father, he had to admit after everything that happened that day, he absolutely deserved that slap.

"You have expressed care for my wellbeing, even when it was of no gain to yourself. You have shown me kindness. You even believe my life to have worth even when I know it does not."

"Hey! Don't talk like that!" Shinji angrily interjected. It was like their conversation before defeating the Fifth Angel all over again. How could she see herself as being so replaceable? It just wasn't right!

Rei looked slightly taken aback by the sudden outburst and even let her mouth hang open somewhat.

"E-even if you don't think your life is worth something… I do."

He clenched his fists.

_I can say this! I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away…_

"I c-care about you Ayanami. Even if you were replaced by some… I don't know, clone or something who looked and acted just like you, I'd still miss _you_." Shinji took a deep breath before pointing a finger to her. " _You_ are important to me. If… if your life really isn't valuable… w-why do I feel this way?"

Rei was utterly speechless. The warmth she felt earlier was now stronger than ever. It was amazing how this boy could evoke such intense feelings within her. She squeezed the Valentine's box tight, not even caring if she might squish the chocolates, and smiled. A wide, genuine smile – just like when Shinji had burned himself to save her so many months ago.

"Thank you," she whispered.

_Words of gratitude. Never had I used them before meeting you, Ikari._

Outstretching her arms, Rei offered the now warped heart-shaped box to Shinji. Blushing intensely, the boy graciously accepted the gift. "Thank you too, Ayanami."

Upon opening the box, Shinji gasped in amazement. This amazed gasp however, was not sparked by the expected sight of chocolates. Most of them had either melted somewhat – the eternal summer that was post-Second Impact climate was to thank for that – or were smushed slightly. No, what caught Shinji's eye was a silver, anchor-shaped pendant, wrapped in plastic, and located right in the middle of the box.

Now Shinji never had an eye for jewelry. He had no way of telling whether the item was genuine or fake. Regardless, it looked amazing to him, and that's all that really mattered. Carefully grabbing his new treasure, Shinji held it out so both he and Rei could get a good look.

"This is… _wow_ ," Shinji breathed out.

"Ikari means anchor," Rei elaborated, to which Shinji nodded. "But it is more than that. Since meeting you, I have come to see you as… someone on whom I can rely."

Shinji raised an eyebrow.

"I believe… that you are my anchor, Shinji Ikari."

Both Rei and Shinji were blushing, Shinji far more so. Flustered as he was however, he was still smiling from ear to ear. This was probably the happiest he had felt since the disappearance of his mother. Happiness was a feeling that had become all too foreign to Shinji. He'd convinced himself, or at least tried very hard to convince himself, that he wasn't worthy of it.

For the first time in many years, Shinji not only felt happy, he also felt he _deserved_ to be happy.

"Aya…" Shinji swallowed a lump in his throat, "…do you mind if I call you Rei?"

"Only if I may refer to you as Shinji."

"Y-yeah… that would be nice."

Placing the box of chocolates aside, Shinji draped the chain of the pendant around his neck.

"H-how does it look on me... R-Rei?"

Still smiling, Rei took a few seconds to look him over. "It suits you, Shinji."

With confidence he was completely unaware he possessed, Shinji gently grabbed both Rei's hands in his own. The girl's eyes and mouth widened at the uncharacteristic bravado displayed by the Third Child. As he gazed deeply into her eyes, Shinji's heart began to practically pound out of his chest. Likewise, Rei found the beat of her own heart growing more rapid. With time however, they both grew calm.

As Rei's mouth fell back into a smile, she lightly squeezed Shinji's hands. He returned the squeeze while relishing in the sight of her tender, all-too-rare smile. Nothing on earth could ruin such a moment. Nothing that is, except for one worrisome thought.

_How the hell am I gonna match this next month?_


End file.
